


A Reason To Fight

by lcdrsuperseal



Series: Legacy [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Poor Danny, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, poor steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18441254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcdrsuperseal/pseuds/lcdrsuperseal
Summary: "I just... can’t bear the thought of seeing myself as a monster in her eyes. I never want her to see that side of me, y’know? She didn’t sign up to have a messed up dad."





	A Reason To Fight

**Author's Note:**

> Had the prompt about Daddy!Steve and his PTSD on my list for a while.

Danny sighed as he sipped on his second cup of coffee, his other hand rubbing at his eyes. He was exhausted, and he'd only just had breakfast.

He knew before he got with Steve that he had PTSD, but it wasn’t until they started sleeping together that he realised how bad it was. Every now and again nightmares plagued him, and if they were particularly bad then they’d carry on after he woke. Last night, though... that was  _ really bad. _

* * *

 

Danny had gently shook Steve awake from his nightmare, whispering soothing words and reminding him that he was home, safe in his bed, that Danno was here with him, which usually did the job.

He didn’t usually get tackled and shoved onto the wooden floor, and when he tried to get Steve off of him that only made him hold him down even more. Danny braced himself when Steve pulled his fist back, but just as he was about to land a blow Sarah’s cries came over the baby monitor at the side of their bed.

Steve snapped his head towards the noise, and if Danny thought it would be his saving grace he was surely mistaken, as the machine was promptly sent flying into the wall.

“ _ Steve! _ ” Danny wrapped his hands around Steve’s bulging biceps and pushed as hard as he could, but he was not budging at all. “Steve, it’s me! It’s Danny, you need to wake up!”

Steve shouted at him in a language that he didn’t understand, and Danny could see the fear and desperation in his eyes. He could now hear Sarah crying from down the hall, demanding her nighttime feed. “Steve, let me go!”

Danny didn’t want to hit him; Steve wasn’t himself and clearly thought he was somewhere else, that Danny was someone else. But he had to put a stop to this for both their sakes, and there was nothing around him he could use. So he took a deep breath and, making sure not to be  _ too _ forceful, punched the side of his face.

It had the desired effect though. Steve was stunned enough for Danny to successfully push him away and scramble to his feet. He looked at Steve as he backed away - he was still kneeling on the floor, but Danny could tell the moment when realisation hit and Steve came to. “D-danny?” he whispered, looking around the room until he saw his partner across the room by the open door, and the moonlight coming through the open window highlighted the red marks on his neck. “Fuck, I-”

“Don’t, Steve,” Danny held his hands out, ignoring how much they were shaking. “I need to go to Sarah… maybe you should stay here.”

“Please, Danno-” Steve’s voice caught in his throat as Danny shook his head before walking away and shutting the door behind him, leaving Steve to slump against the wall with a choked sob.

* * *

Danny’s attention was brought back to the present day by Sarah loudly declaring that she was done with her breakfast of mashed banana. She giggled as Danny attacked her face and hands with a wet wipe before he unclipped the tray from her high chair (he’d tackle that later, or maybe save it for Steve) and pushed her closer to the kitchen table.

“Well done, babe, was that nice?” Danny smiled as he handed Sarah her sippy cup. “There ya go, knock yourself out.”

Danny set about washing up their breakfast stuff when he heard footsteps on the stairs, signalling that Steve was on his way. He continued to focus on putting plates and bowls on the draining board, not turning around when Sarah started drumming on the table and screeched at what he presumed was Steve standing in the doorway.

“Da!”

And okay, Danny had to turn around at that. Because Sarah wasn’t talking yet, but that sounded an awful lot like ‘da’, aka ‘daddy’. He glanced a look at Steve, and he felt his heart sink at just how defeated he looked, but the man’s eyes were fixed on his daughter.

“Dada!”

And then Steve burst into tears before making his way over, wasting no time in scooping Sarah up into his arms. “That’s me… good morning, princess.”

Danny felt the last bit of anger ebb away from him as he continued to watch father and daughter enjoy each other’s company. He got the feeling that neither of them got much, if any, sleep, which meant that their emotions were just pouring out.

“Danny?” Steve looked hopefully at his partner, “‘m so sorry, Danno. So sorry-”

“Sshh, it’s okay.” Danny cupped the side of his face, thumb brushing away the tears that were rolling over the bruise on his cheekbone - the bruise that  _ he _ put there. Steve raised an eyebrow and Danny cocked his head. “Fine, it’s not okay. It was awful, and you bet your ass you’ve got some making up to do, babe.” He winked, and Steve felt the tension start to evaporate out of his body. “But it wasn’t your fault, you hear me? Not your fault. But you know why I couldn’t let you go to her last night, right? After what happened… no way.”

Steve nodded as he toyed with the soft strands of Sarah’s hair. “I know, and I get it. I wouldn’t want me around her either. I just... can’t bear the thought of seeing myself as a monster in her eyes. I never want her to see that side of me, y’know? She didn’t sign up to have a messed up dad.”

“You’re not messed up, Steve. You’re such an awesome dad - Sarah came into your life out of the blue, and instead of running like a lesser man would you let her disrupt everything. You went to Afghanistan and you sat by her side in that hospital every day for three months, and then you brought her home. And let’s not even talk about that NICU bill of a quarter of a million dollars that almost depleted your savings, babe.”

“Worth every dollar though, right?” Steve beamed down at Sarah as she made grabby hands at Danny, who happily took her from him.

“Damn right.” Danny chuckled as Sarah played with his hair that was sticking out at every angle. “But please… I never want last night to happen again, so  _ please _ think about getting help to control your nightmares.”

Steve nodded, tears still rolling down his face, and he went willingly when Danny beckoned him closer. He always felt better when Danny’s arms were around him, it was as if they were the barriers that kept negative vibes away. “I will, Danno, I promise… this is it, I don’t wanna lose you or the kids.”

“And we don’t wanna lose you to your PTSD, Steve.” Danny whispered, before handing Sarah back to Steve when she really tried to pull his hair out and gently kissing him. “We love you, especially me - I love you so much, Steve, and it breaks my heart to see you suffer.”

Sarah seemed to agree, as she patted his face with her tiny hands until Steve pulled them away and kissed them. “I get it, baby girl. You love Daddy.”

“Dada!”

Steve smiled, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Danny staring at them with a wistful look. “What about Danno, baby? Do you love Danno?” he said, pointing at Danny.

Sarah frowned back and forth between both men before settling on Danny. “No?”

“No?” Danny tried not to look too disappointed, but clearly Steve saw through his facade. “No don’t worry Steve, it’s fine, it’s okay-”

“No!” Sarah smiled her gummy smile at Danny, showing all five of her teeth. “No!”

Steve chuckled when realisation hit them both. “Guess, uh, that’s close to ‘Danno’!”

Danny tickled Sarah’s cheeks and laughed in agreement. “Close enough for now, babe.” He said. This was such a stark contrast to an hour ago, where he was almost dreading seeing Steve after what happened. But he’d agreed to get more help with his PTSD for him, his kids, but importantly for himself, and Danny couldn’t ask anymore of him.


End file.
